One time I was at a church retreat and a bunch of us were all talking and playing cards. Well I ran out of soda just as my friend was getting up to get a refill so I shouted to him "Hey, Bryan, Mountain Dew me.” Do you see where this is going because I did not. 

You guys, I literally shouted a phrase that sounded like “Mount and do me” in a room full of very conservative people. I did not share this near death experience for 22 notes.

Not gonna lie, I dumpster dove for food tonight. Not that I’m in need, I’m really not. I still live at home so I get free food all the time.
However, I work for a certain national chain of coffee shops that also sells pastries.

The last few nights the store has severely over pulled its amount of pastries from the freezer and the company policy is to throw it out if it has been thawed for more than a day. However, most of it is still good. Really good. A lot of it was still in it’s wrapped boxes. Buuuuut out manager wouldn’t let us take any of it so a co-worker and I volunteered to do mark out, out them all in garbage bags and then proceeded to take those bags of perfectly sealed pastries back out of the dumpster after the store was closed and our
Manager was gone.

Yeah, we literally threw out three large trash bags worth of perfectly good food tonight. So, if you’re ever homeless or starving a certain green and white coffee shop might be your ticket to a free meal

So, when I try to log into tumblr on my computer it says there has been “suspicious behavior” on my account.
It wants me to reset my password buuuut I don’t use this email account anymore -sigh- so now I can’t get on unless I’m on my phone which never logs me out